i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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