sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
