They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cat food counts as protein by the way
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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