i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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