Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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