The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
