I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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