I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
