I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
either way he was missing a nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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