just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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