3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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