David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
