While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I need to calm my uterus...
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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