I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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