Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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