can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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