I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
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there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
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We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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