Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
