you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
