ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
