And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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