and next time when you feel me up, do it right
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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