well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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