It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
