my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
