okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
After tacos, we're chasing women.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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