Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
it's like iHOP with fire
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
