First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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