That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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