Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
