1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
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