shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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