Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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