Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
