i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
