Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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