Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
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My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
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I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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