It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It's shark week go big or go home
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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