my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
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