Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Randomize
