She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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