The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
