it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
where does the pee come out of this thing
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
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