It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
