Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
