Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
