Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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