Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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