I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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