Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
