So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
