just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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