In the future we'll all be gay
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
we're so committed to being not committed
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
