During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
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I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
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so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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