Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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