K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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