Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
