i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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