There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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