you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
