Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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