But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
