Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We left an ass print on the piano.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize