dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
