New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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